I’m still hurting.
Deeply.
Some days the old memories come back. When you used to hurt me, lie to me, keep things from me. And I fall back to that place that once again I feel… like I can no longer trust you and the person that is right in front of me. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am now but I still can not forget what you had done to me.
Every fall when the leaves begin falling, and the temperature drops to where my fingers are cold. I think of the time of betrayal and begin wondering if this is the person that I want to be with for the I rest of my life. Is this the person that I can whole heartedly rely on.
I begin to spiral to again the girl inside of me that is broken and lost.
What do you do when you no longer find happiness in anything
How could a person put up a smile throughout the day to then feel so worthless at night
This world always feels so empty
what is even the meaning of life
It’s when things are quite that I realize maybe this isn’t who I am suppose to be with. Who i am suppose to be. Maybe we aren’t meant to be together. I want it to work out so bad but are things more broken than fixable. Should I leave before it’s too late.
1/11/22